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Joke of the Day

"What does the future hold? Global warming, depleted resources, & species going extinct. But also the iPhone 5, so it's break even."

Next Joke
 
"I dress up as a Girl Scout for my boyfriend, but just so we can practice our elaborate cookie heist."
"How do snowmen travel around ? By iceicle !"
"I swallowed a Watch the other day... Now I'm just trying to pass the time."
"I'm not fat! My DNA's just bold font."
"Animals are better than people because they can't talk"
"How is /r/jokes like sex? I don't get it."
"[NSFW] I was walking home when I heard a homeless guy yell .. I was walking home when I heard a drunk homeless guy yell -"" You motherfucker , your daughter is your sister"""
"Why wasn't Jesus born in Washington DC? They couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin"
"A Portuguese, a Greek, and a Spaniard go into a brothel. Who pays? Germany."