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Joke of the Day

"I came across 3 snakes while mowing the yard today, but those of you in North America already know that because you heard me scream"

"40 Theoretical physicists walk into a bar Or did they?"

"Women are like the salt of my life They raise my blood pressure"

"Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups? Because they can't even."

"A Chinese funeral parlor opened in my town. It's called ""Can you Bereave It"""

"The most stressful part of my day is when my 5 year old shows me what he made in Arts & Crafts and I have to guess what it is."

"Man l: ""I got my wife a VCP for her birthday"" Man 2: ""Don't you mean a VCR?"" Man 1: ""No a VCP . . . Very Cheap Present!"""

"What do you call a guy who plays the guitar unplugged? An amputee"

"A roman walks in a bar... holds up two fingers and says ""Five beers please."""

"Baptisms were invented by a guy who had to explain why he was caught trying to drown a baby."