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Joke of the Day

"The most stressful part of my day is when my 5 year old shows me what he made in Arts & Crafts and I have to guess what it is."

"A grasshopper walks into a bar The bartender immediately says, ""Hey! We got a drink named after you!"" The grasshopper looks at him quizzically and says, ""You've got a drink named Leonard?"""

"Why were the dinosaurs so big? Because Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures"

"I saw a beautiful pumpkin today... It was gourdeous."

"If all my Facebook friends followed me on twitter, I'd be dragged to church for an exorcism."

"Jaws (1975): A shark is murdered on his vacation."

"What is another name for the disabled stall in a restroom? A handicrapped zone."

"What did the candle say when he was down on his luck? I'm at wick's end."

"I hoped to be a mortgage some day... But it looks like I'm forever a loan."

"Dollar store light bulbs aren't only inexpensive. They save you money on your heating bill when they burst into flames."