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Joke of the Day

"40 Theoretical physicists walk into a bar Or did they?"

"Why do geologists have children with birth defects? Because they practice relative dating!"

"IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE, NOT CHRISTMAS STEVE!!"

"What should you do before cooking the vegetables? Remove the wheelchair"

"Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? ..because it was dead"

"The doctors found a malignant tumor at my checkup the other day... It's really starting to grow on me"

"I broke up with my girlfriend while we were jogging. I guess we had a good run."

"Any time you see a mass suicide case on the news, you can pretty much assume the assembly of an IKEA product was the cause."

"*buys 8 first class tickets, fills all of them with infants and toddlers* Me, from way back in coach: *cups hands* SUCK IT RICH PEOPLE"

"It's like these credit card companies don't even care that I'm an electric accordionist for South Dakota's finest heavy metal parody band."