186799

Joke of the Day

"[Knock Knock] Halloween 1981, the Potter Household Voldemort: knock knock James: Who's there Voldemort: You know James: You know who? Voldemort: Correct James: ... James: Fuck"

"What did the farming professor say to his new students? ""Welcome to my field."""

"If you're wondering if humans are idiots we hunt ducks with guns when they will walk right up to you if you have bread"

"Patient: Doctor! Doctor! My mouth tastes like the bottom of a birdcage! Dentist: Yes, I can see there's been a cockatoo in there."

"Fallout 4 doesn't come out in Japan until Dec. 17th Which is fair because they got the original fallout 70 years before us"

"I, for one... is a roman numeral."

"What did pinnochio's girlfriend say when they were 69'ing? Lie to me"

"How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? None they all screw in sleeping bags."

"When I get in a crowded elevator I can't stop myself from trying to guess everybody's weight."

"I swear that I'm not addicted to cocaine... ...I just like the way it smells."