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Joke of the Day

"If you're wondering if humans are idiots we hunt ducks with guns when they will walk right up to you if you have bread"

"Why did the strawberry go out with the pineapple? Because he couldn't get a date!"

"I've been clicking ""remind me later"" on this work software update for 2 years when is he going to get the hint that I'm not interested?"

"Instead of playing FarmVille I just send blank email messages to myself and then delete them."

"You know why midget performers attract customers? they remind them that life is short"

"I used to work at a trampoline factory It had its ups and downs"

"The trick to falling asleep is putting your phone down. Unfortunately, that's not a risk I'm willing to take."

"Why does Waldo wear stripes? He doesn't want to be spotted."

"When I was a kid I could go to a corner store with a $1 and get 2 cokes, 1 kitkat and a gum Nowadays there are CCTV cameras everywhere"

"One bad mushroom trip in high school and here I am 15 years later still sexually attracted to Rosie O'Donnell."