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Joke of the Day

"Fallout 4 doesn't come out in Japan until Dec. 17th Which is fair because they got the original fallout 70 years before us"

"What if firemen acted like policemen and just drove around shooting water at anyone who looked like they might catch on fire."

"A German woman was walking down a dark alley when she got accosted by eleven men... ...who tear her clothes apart and start to rape and molest her. The woman shouts 'Nien! Nien!', so two of them left."

"My son, 15, DOES NOT KNOW the name of the street we've lived on for 7 years. We are taking him to the vet to get micro-chipped."

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."

"Why doesn't Hillary Clinton work out? She doesn't want to Feel the Bern."

"Dumb blondes Why does a dumb blonde have a deep bellybutton? They probably have dumb boyfriends too !"

"A guy got a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his dick... Now he can play with his money, watch it grow, and you can't find a girl who can't blow a hundred dollars."

"When you're an Olympic-size slut, every day is an opening ceremony."

"Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood he had to walk 7 miles to school everyday. Well he should have got up earlier and caught the school bus like everyone else !"