113874

Joke of the Day

"I swear that I'm not addicted to cocaine... ...I just like the way it smells."

"All my passwords are protected by amnesia."

"[kisses daughter goodnight] Sleep tight. ""Daddy, where do babies come from?"" Amazon. ""Why's it take 9 months?"" Shipping. Go to sleep."

"What do you get if you cross a duck with an avocado? Quackamole"

"But my sandwich is so dry! ""Sorry sir, that's not what we do here at the Mayo Clinic."""

"What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass"

"He's making a list, he's checking it twice. He's gonna find out who's Muslim or nice. Donald Trump is coming to town ! "

"I tried to order a Vietnamese sandwich at a restaurant today while I was walking around topless... The staff refused to serve me, and threatened to bahn mi if I came in without a shirt again."

"""This love triangle is WAY too complicated"" Pythagoras' other woman"

"I'm a simple mathematician... I see 281x285, I like."