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Joke of the Day

"Just because your kid says, ""You're my hero"" does not mean you can pick them up at school wearing a cape, apparently"

"Why did the programmer put on his glasses? So he could C#."

"Just took a 70% lean meatloaf out of the oven, and now it's supposed to ""rest"" because in America even our food is fat and lazy."

"What did the Vegetarian say when he wanted to eat meat? ""Going vegetarian was a missteak"""

"Don't judge Charlie Sheen until you've snorted a mile in his coke."

"What do you call the fear of chainsaws? Common Sense. I'll show myself out..."

"I wonder if I've come a lake yet."

"This total stranger wanted to have a spontaneous tickle fight on the street and...oh...nope, never mind I'm being robbed. Guys I'm being rob"

"Why did the condom leave so quickly? Because it got pissed off."

"A new class of octopus has been discovered that cooks it's food. It's the only Chefalopod found so far."