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Joke of the Day

"A new class of octopus has been discovered that cooks it's food. It's the only Chefalopod found so far."

"Not a gardener per se.... but I've been known to use hoes occasionally."

"All this negativity in the world and I still remain Positive! -Magic Johnson"

"words that seem cool until you find out what they mean - atrophy - space bar - supervision - extraction - dogmatic"

"Blood is Thicker than water, but maple syrup is Thicker than blood. Therefore, pancakes are more important than family."

"My family tells me that I talk in my sleep almost every night.. But they don't say anything like that to me at work."

"What does a guy want more than anything in the world? It doesn't matter. He has to ask his wife first."

"*puts on Rocky theme music* *cracks neck* *cracks knuckles* *stretches* *jogs in place* *picks up phone to call mom*"

"Girls are always the first to say ""YOLO"" Until I mention anal"

"Meanwhile in business news... ...balloon prices are plummeting. Experts are putting it down to a poor inflation rate"