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Joke of the Day

"Just took a 70% lean meatloaf out of the oven, and now it's supposed to ""rest"" because in America even our food is fat and lazy."

"What do necrophiliacs get when they wake up on the day of a funeral? Mourning Wood"

"What do ISIS and Little Miss Muffett have in common? They both have curds in their whey!"

"Psychologists who have examined Oscar Pistorius say that he is at risk of suicide. Especially if he confuses himself with a burglar."

"I wasn't going to follow you but that bible verse in your bio totally changed my mind."

"Now that there are no phone booths anymore Superman just changes in abandoned Blockbusters."

"Fifth Third Bank? I don't think you understand how to number things, which is something I generally look for in a bank."

"I promise, I'm only gonna have 2 beers tonight.... 2 beers in dog beers"

"Scientists thought they had found a limb of an ancient hominid... but it was just a fossil arm."

"What's Donald Trump's favorite drug? Cuckaine"