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Joke of the Day
"I wish my girlfriend.... Would go down as much as Pokemon Go servers"
Next Joke
"two guys talking.... Guy one: I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally peed in her. Now she won't talk to me. Guy two: Sounds like urine trouble."
"Avian Oprah outside my bedroom window: ""YOU get a worm! And YOU get a worm!"" They're going nuts out there."
"Yo mama is so ugly the government moved halloween to her birthday."
"Just saw Elle Fanning. I was blown away."
"My friend Gav died to die... after taking to many heart burn pills. I cant believe Gaviscon."
"How Do You Get Stoned in Ancient Rome? Start shouting Jehovah."
"[at seance] Me: If you truly are a ghost why don't you move this object Ghost: If you truly are a human why don't you get your shit together"
"Why does a chicken coop have two doors? If it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan !"
"Can everyone who is pretending to be a slutty, hot broad but is actually a dude raise our hands? THEIR HANDS, I MEANT THEIR!"