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Joke of the Day

"My friend Gav died to die... after taking to many heart burn pills. I cant believe Gaviscon."

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"""That's one small step for man. That's one open fridge for man. That's one good sandwich for-"" ""Neil! Stop."" ""I WALKED ON THE MOON, JANET"""
"Why can't redheads get drunk? Because they only drink Ginger Ale."
"You know you have a weight problem when even your car insults you. It flashes the word ABS at me and won't stop."
"You really have to hand it to the members of the African American community."
"Her: What's your fantasy? Me: Sexy nurse! H: Meet me in the bedroom. [10 minutes later] *we both come in wearing nurse costumes* M: Uh."
"The most Canadian thing I ever heard was a secondhand story about a guy getting his toe bit off by a beaver but not telling his date."
"What shakes at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck."
"An Owl and a Squirrel are sitting in a tree watching a farmer mow the lawn.... ...The Owl says nothing because Owls can't talk, the Owl then eats the Squirrel because it's a bird of prey."
"Why didn't Hitler drive a stick shift? Because he hated Stalin"