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Joke of the Day

"Just saw Elle Fanning. I was blown away."

"""Haha you flinched"" ""No crap, you almost hit me in the face!"""

"One day I'm going to cure blindness. You'll see! You'll all see!"

"An Asian Keanu enters a room. Asian Keanu got angry. Asian Keanu Reeves."

"an octopus is just a wet spider"

"[texting] ME: I like you, I think you're cute MY CRUSH: oh um ME: HAHAHA omg my dog was chewing on my phone lol how did he type that"

"I thought revenge was a dish best served cold... Then I remembered it was actually the action of inflicting hurt or harm on someone for an injury or wrong suffered at their hands."

"Why don't they allow computers in prison? Is it because of the escape button? I think it's because of the escape button."

"Whenever I have trouble getting out of a hot shower, I simply count down from 100. Today I got to -634."

"A survey was held on what citizens of the United Kingdom thought of the new DOOM game... The overwhelming response was ""bloody hell"""