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Joke of the Day

"Nothing freaks out people like unblinking eye contact in a public restroom. Especially when you do it from underneath the stall divider."

"""Marines!"" ""SIR, YES SIR!"" ""Get ready to deploy at 05:00 sharp--HUGHES WHERE IN THE SHIT ARE YOU GOING!?"" ""That's too early I quit."""

"Two Irish guys walk out of a bar."

"How does a French person sneeze? Adieu!"

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside!"

"Today, the doctor told me that the bottom of my heart has stopped functioning. My girlfriend will be disappointed; that's the part I loved her from."

"Who is Samuel L Jackson's favorite historical figure? Oedipus"

"When black guys say ""ya feel me?"", I literally feel them so they know exactly what level of white I'm operating at."

"No one wants to be the sofa king But they all think they're sofa king funny."

"The police knocked on my door and told me my dog was chasing some fella on a bike. I said fuck off my dog ain't even got a bike."