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Joke of the Day

"It's polite to stand when a lady comes to the table. I take it a step further and leave the restaurant entirely."

"Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon? There was no atmosphere"

"What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted."

"The Bible is basically the longest set of Terms & Conditions ever, which is why so many people agree with it without knowing why."

"What happened to the Marine that took a laxative? He was relieved of doodie."

"How to ruin a helpful solution you gave to a friend that needed help. End with ""Your mom is actually really hot"""

"Q: What is the difference between an UNDERWEAR & a STAGE CURTAIN? A: When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the UNDERWEAR..... it's SHOWTIME!!!"

"Did you guys hear about that Egyptian con-artist? Turns out he was running a pyramid scheme all along."

"I always put pennies in that thing at the convenience store so I can put ""benefactor"" on my resume."

"BOSS: Ok so far so good. But before we finish the interview I'm gonna have you take a typing test. LOBSTER: *looking down at claws* Shit"