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Joke of the Day

"Favorite question to ask a prospective boyfriend for my sister: Have you ever seen a dead body? *casually lifts shirt to expose .357*"

"Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's fucking dead."

"What did the hippie say when his girlfriend told him to move out? Nah, I'm a stay. (namaste)"

"I've been taking my Flintstones' vitamins daily, but I still can't start a car with my feet."

"A guy at the bar asked me to pass him the salt and pepper, so I punched him in the face and yelled, GET YOUR OWN DISTINGUISHED HAIR JERK!"

"Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote? They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting."

"What do you call it when a group of people in a single vehicle travel through a lengthy underpass? Carpool tunnel!"

"Monica Lewinsky says she's not voting for Hillary if she runs because... ...the last time a Clinton was in the White House it left a bad taste in her mouth!"

"What word starts with M and ends in arraige and is a man's favourite thing? Miscarriage. This joke never gets old, just like the baby."

"What kind of sex do you have with twenty seven year olds? Any kind you want, there's twenty of them."