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Joke of the Day
"The reason God calls all of us his children is so he can claim us all as dependents."
Next Joke
"My Wife's Accident The police knocked on my door last night, ""It looks like your wife has been in an accident,"" said one officer. ""I know,"" I replied, ""but she's good with the kids."""
"So I decided to buy nineteen dollars worth of white guilt the other day... ...or as other people call it Twelve Years A Slave."
"what did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? ""see you next month!"""
"Do they make a scale that says things like ""Those shorts probably weigh, what, like 15 pounds?"""
"doctor: u are overweight me: hah yeah doc: ok drop your pants me: ur giving mixed messages doc! doc: me: doc: me: so do u like the Indians"
"SECURITY GUARD: ""Sir, I have to check all backpacks"" ME: ""ok"" *opens backpack* *its full of hundreds of tiny backpacks*"
"I've never used the dust pan I once bought... It's been collecting dust in the closet for years."
"A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. ""Cool, where'd you get that?"" says the bartender. ""Africa"", replies the parrot. ""They're all over the place."""
"How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-her-face!"