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Joke of the Day

"So I decided to buy nineteen dollars worth of white guilt the other day... ...or as other people call it Twelve Years A Slave."

"Why did the case against the great dessert robber get thrown out? De minimis non curat lex."

"What do you get when you have two balls in your hand? A man's undivided attention!"

"Ted said to his friend 'can you lend me $10?' 'But I only have $8' his friend replied. That's OK you can always owe me the other $2!"

"How did Luke Skywalker know what Darth Vader got him for Christmas? He felt his presents."

"NyQuil before beer, nothing to fear. Beer before Nyquil, never been a 30-foot panda on the French Riviera selling kites to angry trees."

"If you ever see a tweet that says ""www@google.com"", that's my grandma trying to use the internet. Leave her alone."

"What would gold say if it could talk? ""A-U"" :|"

"never heard this before Knock knock Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who ? DISH IS SEAN CONNERY"

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