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Joke of the Day
"-I can't stand liars and fakes -You are so pretty -See? Why can't everyone be honest like you"
Next Joke
"My friend asked me why I carry my gun inside my house I told him 'Decepticons.' He laughed, I laughed, the toaster laughed. So I shot the toaster. It was a good day."
"Q: Why did Bill and Hillary send Chelsea to a private school? A: If they sent her to a public school the secret service would be out-gunned!"
"You should never kiss someone on Jan 1... It is only the first date."
"Where are you when you're in the U.K. waiting for Vietnamese soup? Pho queue"
"Thirty years ago, Marco Rubio was bitten by a radioactive doormat."
"What do ISIL and Little Miss Muffet have in common? Both have curds in their whey. -Credit goes to my professor"
"Sometimes I feel driving over Beliebers, but then I'm like, ""what is wrong with me??"" because I just got my car washed."
"""Be patient."" - Mr Miyagi telling Daniel how to bang a nurse"
"Hey dude, want some sodium hypobromite? NaBrO, I'm good."