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Joke of the Day

"What do ISIL and Little Miss Muffet have in common? Both have curds in their whey. -Credit goes to my professor"

"I'd like to think that halfway through Nicole Kidman's last name there's a tiny bar mitzvah."

"You don't realize how much you miss your privacy until you have a toddler hugging you the entire time you pee."

"My missus has a punctuation fetish Whenever she has a period, I get to use the colon."

"What did the wall ask the picture? (All together now!) ***""How's it hangin'?""*** ~Skip"

"hey people that post selfies on Instagram and caption it 'No Filter', go with a filter next time. serious"

"Small mirror that attaches to head of a phone so you can peripherally experience real life while you're live tweeting it."

"TIL it costs more money to make a penny than how much it's worth That makes very little cents"

"There are 10 types of persons in this world... ...those who understand binary and those who don't."

"Professional women's soccer is so boring. Why am I even jerking off to this?"