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Joke of the Day

"Entering Area 51 US soldier: - Sir, this is secret teritory and you don't have permission to... - me - Where the fuck are you running, Pikachu?!"

"What did the penis say to the condom? **""Cover me! I'm going in!""**"

"Am I relying on you to cover up all these blood stains after murdering my ex? BLEACH I MIGHT BE"

"About women... There's only 1 word beginning with B you should ever call a woman, and that's ""beautiful"" - bitches fucking love being called beautiful."

"[marriage counseling] She's always getting mad at me ""There's a shark living in our pool"" IT WAS SHARK WEEK AND HE WAS ON SALE, KAREN"

"Why was the shower crying It was being used."

"The bartender says ""We don't serve time travellers here."" A time traveller walks into a bar."

"Why did hitler kill himself? He looked at the gas bill."

"Today a girl kissed me I wish I could post it in another subreddit Edit: Thanks for gold :D"

"The lady at the bakery who draws her eyebrows on is looking extra surprised today"