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Joke of the Day

"I'm not saying your house is haunted, but I think a ghost just ate all of your Gummy Bears while you were in the bathroom."

Next Joke
 
"After eating four cans of alphabet soup I had a huge vowel movement. Ba-dum tss"
"Meant to say, ""Let me check my calendar and get back to you."" What came out: ""I'm available anytime"""
"Excuse me, but do you like whales? (yeah, why) Cause I was thinking that we could ""humpback"" at my place."
"No tables? Maybe THIS will change your mind [slides maitre d' piece of paper that says ""It's my birthday""]"
"What is the difference between your wife and your job? Your job still sucks."
"What do mice do when they're at home ? Mousework !"
"What did the duck say to the hooker? Put it on my bill."
"What fruit can't be married by itself. Cantaloupe"
"Sorry I made fun of your erectile dysfunction,,, I hope there's no hard feelings"