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Joke of the Day

"They say Napoleon got the shakes whenever he put on his uniform... Modern scholars believe he may have had epaulettesy."

"I saw a deer yesterday. I asked it if it had any doe. It said yeah, about two bucks."

"What do you call a fruit that procrastinates? ...A Cramberry!"

"How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just sit in the dark and cry."

"There are 10 types of people in the world... ...Those who understand binary, those who don't and those who didn't expect this joke to be in base three!"

"This might be an uncomfortable subject for some... But we need to start talking about Germany's plans to drill for oil in 2940."

"What do you call a bug on the moon? A lunatic! (luna-tick)"

"Did you hear about the baby born with no eyelids? They used his circumcised foreskin to surgically replace his eyelids. The surgery was a success although he is a little Cock-eyed"

"My attempt at a Mitch Hedberg joke ""Why are people always having their pizzas delivered? Just order them without liver."""

"Why didn't the tree get any presents for Christmas? He was knotty."