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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the tree get any presents for Christmas? He was knotty."

"Did you hear about the band Kansas getting arrested for kidnapping at the airport? They tried to carry-on my wayward son."

"Donations Person: ""Please donate to the local swimming pool"" Me: *Gives a glass of water*"

"I didn't wear earrings for a long time and the holes closed, now I'm worried about my vagina."

"The Spicy Sausage by Delia Katessen"

"Insanity? Psychiatric patient attends his appointment with no clothes on, the guy is wrapped in clear plastic. As he enters the psychiatrists office the psychiatrist comments,, "" I can see your nuts"""

"Dick::Ebola Your dick is like ebola, you dont have it and no one wants it"

"I'd really, really love to adopt a kid some day. Abort* Sorry, I hate auto correct."

"I am a very kind and honest person. if I see an old lady trying to cross a street... ...I will tell her she is old."

"Q: Why couldn't Tommy ride a bicycle? A: Because he was a gold fish."