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Joke of the Day

"My Grandfather Says I should not be so Dependent upon technology... ...Yet he is the one hooked to life support."

"Autocorrect just changed faux pas to faux pasta and this gluten war has gotten out of hand."

"""Knock knock."" ""Who's there?"" ""The pilot. Let me in"""

"Thanks to Volkswagen, I'm now even starting to doubt if Herbie was a true story."

"I like my women like I like my wine... 7 years old and locked up in a cellar"

"*lil wayne begins typing lyrics into mocrosoft word* *paperclip pops onto screen* Do you mean ""digger""?"

"What does it mean when an accountant is drooling out of both sides of his mouth? His desk is level"

"How do you kill a hipster? You drown him in the mainstream."

"I don't delete annoying people out of my phone. I give them new names so I know not to answer. ""Always needs a favor"" is calling, decline."

"A neutron walks into a bar... He sits down and orders a drink. When he finishes drinking, he pulls out his wallet and say to the Bartender, ""How much?"" The Bartender says, ""For you? No charge."""