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Joke of the Day

"I don't delete annoying people out of my phone. I give them new names so I know not to answer. ""Always needs a favor"" is calling, decline."

"I saw 2 blind men fighting Today I saw two blind men fighting, so I shouted ""I'm supporting the one with the knife!"" Both of them ran away"

"Why is the symbols row of my keyboard swearing at me"

"*opens car door to drop kid off at school & sees kool aid instead* If you're here then.. [cut to kid bursting through a wall like 'oh yeah']"

"Women go crazy only once a month for 30 days."

"What do you call Aaron Rodgers' generous daughter? Sharon Rodgers"

"Major in Freudian Psychology Minor in the back seat."

"Bad news, guys. Throwing a cat through a wall doesn't make a funny, cat-shaped hole. Not even close."

"I got a puppy for my daughter... Good swap if you ask me."

"There's two things I hate.... ...Racists and black people"