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Joke of the Day

"""Knock knock."" ""Who's there?"" ""The pilot. Let me in"""

"How do you tell the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste."

"What did the fruit enthusiast do as he was dying? Prepear for the end."

"Whats the best way to eat a vegetable Go for the wheelchair first"

"Coming Soon Jason Statham is a reluctant thief with a heart of gold *cue explosion* PUNCH McEXPLODEY CAR MAN *fade to black*"

"My pick-up line used to be ""Hey babe, I'm a hotspot. Wanna log-on""? doesn't work anymore, now they just yell at me ""fuck off you homeless begger""."

"If I had to choose between a rope or the inclined set of steps.... I would opt for the latter."

"What makes a ISIS joke funny? The execution."

"My boss wanted me to sign up for the company 401k. I told him, ""No way, do you have any idea how far that is?"""

"Sometimes Jesus appears on toast, sometimes pancakes, sometimes waffles. Always on breakfast food. Why? It's the most important meal."