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Joke of the Day

"I needed to get a shipment of almonds to the airport quickly. It was so weird to call Uber and ask if they could drive me nuts."

"Shout out to my student loan for getting me through college. I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you."

"What is it called when buckets of paint conspire with each other? A colour scheme."

"What did the Mother say to her son when she saw him eating cookies for breakfast? Your Dad and I are getting a divorce."

"A wise man once said cheez doodles were better than cheetos, but his opinion was biased."

"I work for the world's largest nanotechnology company... We're not very good."

"What do you call a doctor who is trained in neurosurgery and is covering for a gynecologist? A pervert."

"Researchers have found why bears hibernate. ""They're sad due to a break up"" said one. ""It's been a year Brent. Move on. I have"" said another"

"Colin from ""Whose Line Is It Anyway"" just quit. Apparently he felt like he was making a Mochrie of himself."

"By the end of their life, everyone will have appeared in at least two Fast & Furious movies"