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Joke of the Day

"My son didn't understand the concept of a committed relationship, so I told him it's like making a girl your default browser."

"Exactly 4 years ago, I asked my college crush out. Today, I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."

"Looks like we got about 4 inches of snow last night Or as my boyfriend calls it... 7."

"The meat served in IKEA's restaurant is made of people who couldn't find the way out."

"No thanks, Winter Olympics. If I wanted to see a bunch of white people playing in the snow, I'd hop on over to Facebook."

"How do New Zealander's find sheep in long grass? Delightful"

"Before you assume that ghetto thugs are brainless, think about this: ""Yo, when you gonna let me tap that ass?"" is in iambic pentameter."

"My pants are also my iPhone grease wipes."

"Sorta miss my kid today. Guess it's true what they say about not knowing what you've got until you've sold it to a gypsy."

"A time traveling pharaoh and a modern Jewish man discuss religions When the man says he is Jewish the pharaoh responds ""I absolutely love Jews. I own 40,000 of them!"""