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Joke of the Day

"A time traveling pharaoh and a modern Jewish man discuss religions When the man says he is Jewish the pharaoh responds ""I absolutely love Jews. I own 40,000 of them!"""

"*Makes typo* *Deletes tweet* *Deletes account* *Destroys computer* *Changes name* *Moves to Pakistan* *Opens a curry shop*"

"Why did the train go left? Cause it couldn't get on the right track. I made that joke when I was little and remembered it today, might as well post it."

"What do a dwarf and a midget have in common? Very little."

"I think Argentina is quite capable of deciding who it wants to cry for. Stop being so bossy Eva."

"Billionaire: I'd like to do something about crime. Butler: Being poor, I've got some great ideas-- Billionaire: I want to dress as a bat."

"What did Sting get in Amsterdam? A massage in a brothel"

"if you want your wife to take you seriously, don't throw your sippy cup during an argument"

"*dims the lights so you look like your selfies*"

"I wish I could Google search...Who likes me?"