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Joke of the Day

"Before you assume that ghetto thugs are brainless, think about this: ""Yo, when you gonna let me tap that ass?"" is in iambic pentameter."

"I think the inventor of the internet likely didn't intend for it to be used to post videos of simians reacting to humans doing magic tricks."

"""Metric system? You mean the easy measurement system based upon multiples of 10, that every other country uses? Na. We're good."" - America"

"What did the Apple Phone designer do when he got home? Jack off"

"Barber pointed out my new gray hairs and said I looked refined. I hope someone tells him the key marks on his car looks like racing stripes."

"I renamed my iPod Titantic It's syncing much better now."

"What do you call a homosexual man on a wheel chair? A human being"

"I didn't use to eat babies. I still don't. I just didn't use to as well."

"I made a couple mistakes during puberty I dropped the ball two times during it."

"Me: *breathes"" My parents: you need to watch that attitude young man."