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Joke of the Day
"Yelling REEEEEMIX, when your boss stutters on a conference call is looked down upon."
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"Me VS Computer A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. for more jokes visit http://smsbrunch.com"
"How do you draw an Overwatch character? You Tracer."
"My true love and I are like parallel lines. We will never meet and I will die alone."
"Did you guys hear about that crazy thing Trump said at the debate last night? I couldn't believe it. He said ""Ohio is a spectacular place."""
"If someone peed on me during sex, I'd be like, ""Ha! I've read about this!"""
"Each cigarette you smoke takes six minutes off your life. A friend of mine was such a heavy smoker he actually went back in time."
"""My eyes are up here"" ~ The last words heard by any guy who checked Medusa out."
"6/6/14 Dear Diary - Today was really great. Got a job as an intern with the CIA and sent a cool tweet. 6/7/14 Dear Diary - Guantanamo sucks."
"I want someone to look at me the way I look at the waiter when he brings my meal."