185399
Joke of the Day
"There once was an old lady who swallowed a battery, She got acid reflex."
Next Joke
"I don't understand why everyone is mad at Lance Armstrong... Like I give him props... Have you ever tried biking before on drugs? It's fucking hard."
"What goes ""Tick Tock, woof woof""? A watchdog."
"What happened when the cannibal was late to the dinner party? He got the cold shoulder."
"Good call inventor of glass tables. There's nothing more appetizing than realizing Aunt Mildred doesn't wear panties while I'm trying to eat"
"Whats the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? You take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline."
"I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, and I thought to myself, Wow, dogs are easily entertained. Then I realized : I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes."
"I was surprised to learn that the Israeli form of martial art was Krav maga... I always thought they used JEWjitzu..."
"I don't like anti jokes... I like uncle jokes"
"If you don't like your son, grab a football and tell him to go long. Never throw it. He's gone now."