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Joke of the Day

"What goes ""Tick Tock, woof woof""? A watchdog."

"A young musician left his priceless Stradivarius violin on a train in Germany. But it was returned... no strings attached. Wait...what ?"

"Does it count as necrophilia if she's just dead inside?"

"I saw a man at the beach yelling, ""Help, Shark! Help!"" I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him."

"What do you call a good fortune teller? Optimystic"

"*takes pen and notepad from psychiatrist's hand ""This'll go quicker if you let me do it."""

"North Korea claims to have just tested an H-Bomb Turns out they just discovered Mentos and Diet Coke"

"My family branded me as a failure, then I invented an invisibility cloak. If only they could see me now..."

"What is Bear Grylls' favourite web browser? Internet *explorer*!"

"I woke up one day and your name just didn't make me smile anymore."