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Joke of the Day

"Police Officer: You know, this is a one way street? Me: I was only going one way..."

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"My math teacher insulted me He called me a third derivative"
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"What does the date inside of a wedding ring stand for? best before..."
"Had a date last night, but I don't kiss and tell. So I'll tell you all about it."
"What do you call a reptile wearing a vest? An investigator. Ba dum tss."
"If I had a dollar every time someone called me a racist, a lot of black people would try to rob me"
"Why did the square breakup with the circle? She wasn't edgy enough!"
"I loved church when i was little, but what i hated was all the standing up, and sitting down and kneeling I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me already."
"A girl from Alabama asked me if I found her attractive. I said, ""You've got a face only a brother could love."""