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Joke of the Day

"A girl from Alabama asked me if I found her attractive. I said, ""You've got a face only a brother could love."""

"ME: My dog's so happy I'm working from home. DOG (to camera): Honestly, a heads up would have been nice. I had shit planned today."

"Three guys walk into a bar... And their families are slowly torn apart by alcoholism. (Edit: typo pointed out by grammar Nazi)"

"You hear the one about the 13 inch ruler? Never mind. It's too long."

"How do you sink a polish war ship? You put it in water"

"A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, ""Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"" The doctor replied, ""I know, I amputated your arms!"""

"Why did the cat join the Red Cross ? It wanted to be a first aid kit."

"Help me reddit. I've quit smoking and I'm gaining weight Before, I only had to reach into my pockets to feel a little lighter."

"Sometimes when I'm singing a song a get an urge to skip the chorus... But I always refrain"

"The text says it all It all"