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Joke of the Day

"As I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death, I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps."

"Today I thanked my toilet, because it puts up with my shit everyday."

"Breaking news! Energizer Bunny arrested ...charged with battery. *drops mic*"

"A robber runs out of a store with a stolen TV. The blonde cashier runs after him yelling, ""Wait, you forgot the remote!"""

"Have you heard the joke about Ebola yet? You probably won't get it."

"Me: I've invested heavily in hedgehog funds. You: I think you mean hedge funds. *opens door to roomful of hedgehogs* Me: Nope."

"The higher they are, the more spaced out they get What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? &nbsp; ^^The ^^punchline ^^need ^^not ^^be ^^always ^^at ^^the ^^end..."

"HOW TO BECOME A CRAZY CAT LADY: 1) Get a cat. 2) Repeat."

"Did you hear about the cookie that was litterally made of nothing but grass and dirt? it was a real tuft cookie"

"I misspelled armageddon the other day... But I guess it's not the end of the world"