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Joke of the Day

"You can insult anyone you want, as long as you end the sentence with ""but in a good way""."

"How do you get a Harvard Graduate off your porch? You pay him for the pizza."

"I see that El Chapo has been extradited to the U.S. So we may not get a Mexican wall but I bet we get a tunnel!"

"We shouldn't point out other people's grammar mistakes because one day it will be you're turn. Yore turn. You are turn. Goddamn it."

"There's nothing like shaving off your beard to remind everybody why your face needed a beard."

"What did the network engineer give to his fiancee? A token ring."

"What's the difference between Canadians and Americans? 100 pounds."

"How many Ferguson police officers does it take to change a lightbulb? None... they just shoot the room for being black."

"What happened when the lawyer took a Viagra? He got taller."

"Whenever someone says they did something ""like a boss"" I assume that means they didn't do it at all and are taking credit for it."