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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst thing you can do in the name of cupidity? Going to Thailand with your own children"

"What's wrinkly and hangs out your pants? Your mother."

"How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick!"

"The sequel to Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory is just a series of horrified people finding parts of missing kids in their chocolate bars"

"Christmas these days is a lot like having sex The build up is great but when it finally comes, I regret spending all that money."

"Why is Chuck Norris still alive? ## Because he's afraid of meeting Bruce Lee on the other side! Credit: Saw the comment in this [tribute video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8wL3AA4BP0) [1:55]"

"One day the youngest son asks his mother, ""Mom, why do I look so different from all my siblings?"".... The mother says ""Son, from what I remember about that party, you are lucky that you don't bark""."

"family member: what are you doing with your life? me: it's a surprise"

"Take me down to the paraphrase city. Where it's nice."

"I don't wish anybody dead, but a well placed nasty rash on you would kind of make my day."