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Joke of the Day

"LIKE IF... You've recorded yourself singing to see if you could actually sing."

"What's an epileptic's motto? Carpe diem."

"The time machine of tomorrow. Today."

"When I get home the first thing I'm going to do is rip my wife's panties off. Because they're too small and the elastic is killing me."

"I'm about to watch 'Funny or Die' on HBO. Wow. Now I'm nervous.. I hope I laugh.."

"You should never accept gift from a German The German/English bilingual crowd should be the safest ;)"

"I had such a bad allergic reaction to a peanut today... ... that I got sued by TheFineBros."

"Why is the letter N the most powerful letter? Because it is in the middle of TNT."

"I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover. ... Wait."

"What did the Australian chess player say to the waiter when he finished his meal? Check, mate."