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Joke of the Day

"I'm about to watch 'Funny or Die' on HBO. Wow. Now I'm nervous.. I hope I laugh.."

"How school works: In class: 2+2=4 Homework: 2+4+2=8 Exam: John had 4 apples.He eats one and gives one to a friend. Calculate the Sun's mass."

"I'm thinking of something really stupid to tweet -all of us all the time"

"How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogie in it! (Not sure of the spelling, heard it from someone)."

"Do you want to hear a short joke? Never mind, it'd probably go right over your head anyway."

"Is BB hungry? No, BB-8."

"So, you know how they put that magic hat on Frosty and it makes him talk? I wonder if there's one that works in reverse, but for children."

"Doctor Doctor I feel like a needle. I see your point! Tell me straight Doc Is it bad? Well I ouldn't start watching any new soap operas!"

"I hate when people read over my shoulder while I'm texting. 2 car lengths please Mr. Policeman."

"How can you judge how good the orgasm was? From the amount of time it takes you to press Alt-F4 afterwards."