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Joke of the Day
"I was only mildly famous in the '90s but vaccinate your kids"
Next Joke
"What do you get if you cross a rooster with a disobedient dog? A cock that doesn't come."
"A termite walks into a bar... And he says, ""where is the bartender?"""
"I'm so broke that if my girlfriend leaves me for another guy I swear that I'm going with them."
"What do you call a city-dwelling dwarf that keeps perfect time? A metro-gnome"
"What do I have in common with middle Eastern women? We both get stoned to death on a regular basis in public.. And nobody around seems to mind.. And some people ask for hits.."
"Christopher Walken should make a Christmas album called ""In a Winter Wonderland"""
"Why does America use Mexicans to pick our oranges? As we saw on Tuesday, it takes 1/2 of America to pick an Orange."
"""He's a jerk. I'm over him anyway. (5 minutes later) Ooh, he texted! I want to have his babies!"" -Women"
"I've started a charity for donating horchata-flavored espressos to deaf Americans in Thailand. It's called the ""ASL Rice Phuket Allonge"""