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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a city-dwelling dwarf that keeps perfect time? A metro-gnome"

"The One-Step Guide To Be A Hipster 1. Don't follow this guide."

"What do you call a piece of sandpaper in Syria? A map."

"I will carry 17 grocery bags or die trying before making two trips."

"Taking a cue from politicians, I'm getting thirty normal people to stand behind me every time I say something stupid. (They're here now.)"

"I just saw a picture of a duck posing and doing a dumbwhitegirlface."

"The mail slot on your door is so you can tell the mailman you love him"

"PUTIN: If your American lover is in this room I'll kill him ELENA: He's not! PUTIN: (softly) u...s... [bursting from closet] A! USA! USA!"

"Did you know there are two different types of people in the world? Boys and girls."

"My OC Comic ""Punguins"" tell me what you think! http://penguinproductions.org/comics?id=1"