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Joke of the Day

"""He's a jerk. I'm over him anyway. (5 minutes later) Ooh, he texted! I want to have his babies!"" -Women"

"Why did Simba have trouble returning to Pride Rock? He ran into trafiki."

"I had to bury my girlfriends cat today... He put up a hell of a fight, but I got him covered up!"

"If your ex is dropping subtle hints drop bigger hints. Like a toaster in a bathtub."

"Whats better than winning a medal at the paralympics? A pair of legs."

"What do you call a Mormon action hero? Jean-Claude Van Darn"

"Why couldn't the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter? Because it was too Win+D"

"*dinosaur at zoo roars at me* ""ROAR"" whoa wat kimd of dinosaur is this ""GROWL"" hmm ""SHOUT"" hmmm ""YELL"" hmmmmm ""HOLLER"" oh its a thesaurus"

"We got a tornado warning, and I'm too scared to open my windows. Don't want any sharks in my house."

"I am the worst writer in the world until I finish writing, at which point I immediately become a goddamn genius. This is relatable content."