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Joke of the Day

"I'm so broke that if my girlfriend leaves me for another guy I swear that I'm going with them."

"Her: Wanna ""lex"" tonight? Him: What's that? Her: Lazy sex. Him: What do we do? Her: Lay in bed and send each other Huffington Post articles."

"Q: Why didn't the blondes go to the movies on one buck night? A: They couldn't fit a deer into the car."

"What do you call a pub for lesbians in circus outfits? A Clown-Dyke-Bar Credit to u/TheBigDsOpinion"

"Bras are like the illuminati They're on top, hard to see, harder to unlock, and hold all the good stuff."

"I refuse to see movies that critics deem ""fun for the whole family,"" because a lot of our grandparents are pretty racist."

"If you ain't Muslim... ....you ain't Shiite"

"If you're having girl probs, I don't feel bad for you, son/ I've got ninety-nine traits but empathy ain't one"

"My girlfriend became depressed because she thought she was a failure and was letting me down. Encouragingly, I told her, ""If at first you don't succeed, keep sucking until you do suck seed."""

"If Trump wins Im leaving the country if Clinton wins Im leaving the country Not a political post, I just love to travel"