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Joke of the Day

"What do I have in common with middle Eastern women? We both get stoned to death on a regular basis in public.. And nobody around seems to mind.. And some people ask for hits.."

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"What is the only group of cops who get in trouble when a black guy gets killed? secret service"
"Q3: What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? A: Try Sara's Tops"
"*pulls away from kissing my girlfriend's twin* TWIN: she'll never find out about us ME: thanks dude you're a trustworthy guy"
"Why did the robot get the electric chair? Because he was charged with battery."
"I think my girlfriend has a trigonometry fetish because every time I talk to her she gets off on a tangent."
"What does a footballer and a magician have in common ? Both do hat tricks !"
"I asked the doctor how much longer I've got. He said, ""A few inches. You clearly enjoy prostate exams."""
"The Jews may be the ""Chosen People""... ... But the Muslims are the ""Randomly Selected""."
"*Picking up my kid from school in 20 years* Me: Yo shawty leggo. Kid: Please no. Me: Stop hating YOLO. Kid: You're embarrassing. Me: Swag."