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Joke of the Day

"I don't always have a cool Facebook status, but when I do, an older relative ruins it with a lame comment."

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"How do you feed a skyscraper? ""Here comes the aeroplane!"""
"My ultimate dream is to move back home, open up a bar and run it with all of my friends, and then burn it down for the insurance money"
"Went to a bulimic birthday party today... I saw a cake pop out of a girl."
"There's a crying baby on my bus and I'm all ""shut up baby, you're not the one going to work."""
"Your brain has two sides: left and right. Your left brain has nothing right. Your right brain has nothing left."
"Why is Michael J. Fox better than a vibrator? You never have to buy batteries."
"How do you make a rabbit stew? Keep it waiting."
"How do you stop a North Korean tank? Shoot the guy driving the cardboard box."
"You know why Russia is more productive? They're rushin'"
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