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Joke of the Day
"Why did the Tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing."
Next Joke
"[All credit to Ana Kasparian from the TYT Network] So, I heard Kim Kardashian is having Kanye West's baby... At least she let him finish."
"How do you find a velociraptor? By taking the integral of the acceleraptor! Me: http://imgur.com/H8rLjub Everyone else: http://imgur.com/J3hC4Ci"
"How do you get a fat girl into bed? It's a piece of cake"
"Are you danish Because im going to leave a denmark on that ass"
"Looking for new roommates on Craigslist... ...is it too anal to ask whether or not they're into it?"
"What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, you go get it"
"I hurt my knee the other day... ...but I'm not sure if it was my low knee or my high knee."
"What do pirates use to copy files? Yarrrrrsync!"
"David Bowie = Died at 69 Alan Rickman = Died at 69 Donald Trump = is 69 I think we all understand where this is heading"