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Joke of the Day
"How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? None. They've already screwed everything"
Next Joke
"What do women and tornadoes have in common? They both moan like hell when they come and take the house when they leave."
"Billy where is your homework? ""im sorry Ms. Klein my dog- *sees dog in the window make a throat cutting motion* -gone cat ate it"""
"All of Donald Trump's wives are foreigners... Turns out there really are jobs American's won't do. Source: Mitt Romney's response to an interviewer's question."
"How many tickles does a Japanese school girl want? Tentickles."
"Lately people have been trying to get me to jump off a dock But I don't give into pier pressure."
"When I see a couple fighting I like to walk up to the one who's more pissed off and whisper ""We can make it look like a suicide"" and wink"
"Did you hear about the time traveler who finished his plate? He went back four seconds."
"My wife was so sick this morning... that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast."
"I'll take a Clooney, and 2 Upton's please. Turned to my wife and said, ""Amazon is buying Twitch for 1 billion. She said ""the dancer?"" . . yea hun, the dancer."